I am still a human being

assalamualaikum...

its a very long time no see u..my blog..well i have a few of story that i want to share with ...its not too interesting stuff..but its juz my opinion and what i am feeling... right know i am practicling in departement of pediatrician at RS Simpangan Depok period 28 November until 4 February 2012. Actually i am not too interested with managing a baby and kid . I dont know why ...just I dont know how to approach a kid without make them irritating, whinning, frighting, and crying . ..its not that only..as a doctor we need to find a chief problem that make them come to hospital. that we called is an anamnesis. then after get by alloanamnesis and autoanamnesis we need to create some history from chief problem . From creating a history we make a working diagnosis , different diagnosis then finally treatment suitable with. you know that, how complicated is to ask her or his mom while they come from different background and education level. Sometime the mom didnt know and misunderstood weather her child seizure or shiverring. Its very dissapointed me and sometime I feel upset about the child's future.

the important thing that I always remind on myself is act as professional in front of patient and their family. what is professional does mean. professional is (1) : characterized by or conforming to the technical or ethical standards of a profession (2) : exhibiting a courteous, conscientious, and generally businesslike manner in the workplace.

people sickening waiting for dying and dying in front of my eyes, ..tiny baby febris with 40 oC pluss seizure and cant have opportunity to tell her mom that she is sick despite crying without tears because of dehydration. but me...I can't crying..I just can show my empathy through my words, a bit of my console and persuade, and a little bit of making face that I understood what are their feeling.

still, in my heart i pray,and give a big hope so that the miracles can be just happenned , save the babies live or just give her moms a once more chance to keep her babies healthy and growth up.
that's only I could done for a patient beside do the best that I can do.
whatever is I am still a human,, I am still a girl or youngadult that i need my space and privacy for my life.

A few days ago, I was chit-chatted with my friend during my rest time as well waiting another new patient. Its nothing much .. just say HI and ask him how did he do..until we talked about something serious that made a sudden cold environtment. I just dont know why he told me that ,as a doctor I am hypochrite while carrying my duty. At the first I'm quite pissed of , because I think who he is , dare to accuse bluntly , while he is not a doctor or medical officer, how he should know our duty is... I dont know what a problem that disturbed him which is make him think like that. but I dont blame him 100 percent. He just dont know and misunderstood about me. I admitted that I am facebook-ing behind while carrying my duty. But at the time there is no an emergency patient that need special observering every per hour. so I think that is not a big problem. so then this is out outer end that made our conversation became cold because he accused me hypochrite while I think I'm professional enough settelling and helping patient problems.

so viewer. I ask you sincerely..am I too careless holding my duty .. or am I a hypochrite doctor and too bold taking about patient feeling while I need to devide between my professional job and my privacy life??..